


Drabbles with YX cause no one’s done it

by SeliaHearts



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: A bit of cussing, Cringe, Humour, Multi, ONESHOTS TOO, Some chapters are related to cannon, Teasing, some are just AUs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-07-23 16:24:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16162547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeliaHearts/pseuds/SeliaHearts
Summary: Basically i was bored and had an idea and boom! This mess happened.I do not recommend if you have problems as so:1. You don’t like YX2. You’re uncomfortable with bxb3. This will probably be dry humour4. Oneshots too but some with continuous storylinesOtherwise. Enjoy!





	1. Is this a Wrap

**Author's Note:**

> Take my dry humour and eats it without water.
> 
> I’m trying to be funny 
> 
> Not working is it?
> 
> I can’t add emojis bc it won’t upload

A parody where the seekers suddenly had nothing to do.

They’ve gathered in the round room for yet another meeting and the only seat empty was the highest one.

“Seriously, where is that old coot?! We’ve been waiting for hours!” Snarling across the room as he glared at anybody who made eye contact with him.

“Pipe down! It’s only been an hour!” The high pitched voice screamed from the seat across. Glints of electrical sparks on their hands.

Then there was the carrier boy or the delivery boy for whatsoever Braig decided to call him, who brought everyone together.

Quietly he sat on his own space. Kinda irritated the elder who was starting to go crazy (not that he isn’t already in) with all the waiting.

“I got better things to do! You know, like ‘take care’ of the guardian brats”

His behaviour made Young Xehanort roll his eyes whenever he hears their whining. Wasn’t he (by now honestly) older that him? Act your age, for goodness-

“Aren’t ‘you’ suppose to know when’s he coming? You’re wasting a crap load of my time, kid”

He sighed demeaningly and pulled his gaze upwards to where Braig was. “Time travel is a complicated matter. Somebody ‘like you’ wouldn’t understand”, he snarled. This man was really getting on his nerves.

For whatever reason, the elder chuckled. Filling the empty waves in the white room with his own and only laughter. It was like how dad laughed at his own joke. Oh dad, wonder how he’s doing. It’s been awhile since he’s gone home- wait what was he doing here again? Oh right. 

He was snapped out of thoughts when Braig began to speak up. 

“It doesn’t take a genius to know he’s already dead. Remember? Gave his heart for a younger body. Something you ended up figuring out how to do” the waves of his word slashed at the youth.

“I don’t need to hear that from you!” Why did he end up doing it? Was the expansion of his own life not enough that he had to ‘steal’ someone else’s body? He took a nervous glance at Xemnas, who had been quiet for the whole conversation.

A nerve of anxiety hit him when he’d seen ‘his’ future self.

“Aw, is Little Xey Xey getting anxious?” He coed, making irritatingly teasing faces. “What are you? Feeling guilty before you even do it.”

The younger Xehanort (freakin! I’m just gonna go by YX to prevent confusion) didn’t reply to his remark. Only but stayed silent, thinking. ‘What am I even doing?’

“Leave him alone Xiggy- I eh mean Braig” Demyx or Edym suddenly joined in.

“We don’t know what it’s like to...” he didn’t know how to continue.

YX re-raised a glare at the older man. ‘Someday I’m gonna take your other eye out!’

Then the old man came.


	2. Adventures with Saïx part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone and welcome all.

He looked like a younger version of Xemnas but slightly different. He had the hair but something wasn’t quite right. 

What’s more confusing is that Xemnas is right here. So why would they need another one that’s basically what the same person.

‘Wait... wasn’t Xemnas already defeated by-‘ Saïx’s thoughts came to a halt when he realised he’s been staring for too long and was being stared back by the younger youth.

Quickly he averted his gaze to the other members.

Just before he thought the meeting was about to end and he’d go back to his post in Twilight Town, a sudden announcement about him was made.

“Saïx, you will go back to your post with the company of my younger-self.” Which one exactly.

He noticed which one as that he had mistakenly started at, turn his head and if it weren’t for his sharp ears, he head a small grunt.

Well this mission was going to be awkward. 

More than that, the younger youth had the urge to question Master Xehanort (his eldest-self), who was practically their boss.

“But what of my post in The Toy Box world. May I remind you that we still haven’t found that missing darkness?”

It was as if he hadn’t made a sound and was harshly ignored by the old man.

MX even gave a grunt and turned away from the boy. His expression obviously gave a ‘I don’t want to deal with you rn’. Then tilted towards Saïx.

“You make sure he doesn’t wonder else where. Or. Else” and just like that he disappeared.

Along with the others who only went back to their original post. Leaving the two uncomfortable vessels.

Getting off this high pedestal seat. The other youth hadn’t move. Only had his arms crossed over his chest and his hood pulled up when everyone dismissed.

Even through the dark hood, he could obviously make out... pouting.

YX couldn’t believe what just happened here. How dare that old man, his future self, do this to him! Completely Ignored him In front of the others.

Saïx was puzzled with how he was going to handle a now reluctant ‘child’.

Then he felt an arm slung over his shoulders. “Told ya you’re only good for delivering.”

Braig, how come he’s still here. The man retreated his arm as YX got off his seat. Directly glaring at Xigbar under his hood.

Xigbar liked it when people, especially kids, glare and growled at him as if he’d killed their gold fish. The look they gave was satisfactory for him as if he’d know what ticked them off. Harvesting their anger. YX was no different, member or not, he’d ravage that expression to the hilt.

Then he turned and waved playfully from behind at the two. Ready to leave, “Good Luck babysitting Saïx” then he was gone before one of YX’s neon blades stuck him.

“I swear that-“  
“Let’s go.”

Saïx wouldn’t waver from his task. Twilight Town was the main place where everything started and the hero mostly likely found more clues.

Even so, it was also the place where Axel would always take those kids to after missions. Where his heart started to change.

Even when struck with the truth about possibly having a heart and that Axel was right. It was too late for him, he was a vessel. That’s that.

When he opened a dark corridor and was about to walk through, the other hadn’t moved. He sighed, ‘why were children always being so difficult’.

He couldn’t be late, so without wasting anymore precious time he held a tight grip onto the younger youth’s wrist and had to pull him through the portal. Doing his best to ignore the sounds of protest that came from him.

Once they were finally where they had to be, he released his grip.

YX took steps backwards, away from the long blue haired vessel. Grunting his annoyance. A glare was stabbed behind his head, he thought.

When he turned around, he was right.

“Look, it’s not like I want you here-“  
“No shit” this child had an attitude. What was he 17? 

“But orders are orders. I couldn’t care less what you think but Master Xehanort-“  
“I AM Master Xehanort”

Saïx rose a brow questioningly. Which surprisingly made the other shrug back and began to stutter. What? Did he look that-

“I mean, I will be” For lords sake when i get back home I’ll have to look up hair care maintainability. 

Apparently he was rethinking his outburst.

“About that... Who are you, honestly”  
“I told you already”

With all the chitter chatter, they barely notice that pedestrians had spotted them and guided the fact that they were also running away from something.

That’s when a group of three teenagers ran pass them. A short chubby boy, a tall blond and brunette girl.

“Hey, Don’t just stand there. Get ta safety!”  
“A herd of black creatures are raiding over there!” The girl pointed.

Since they hadn’t bothered to give a respond, the blond who was a few inches shorter than YX decided to pull him by the arm as he was running.

“Do you wanna die! Move!”

What just happened?

“Mister come on!” The girl urged on as she followed. Leaving the long blue haired adult as he was still stood like a stone while the four teenagers fled the scene.

Did that child just let himself be taken away like that?! 

His shock slowly enveloped into anger. 

‘He was definitely doing this on purpose!’

“You!” A sudden pitched voice cut through his thoughts of giving YX a lecture. How dare he-!

“Wait?! Didn’t I beat you already?”  
“Sowa watwh ouwh!” The duck warned

The keyblade wielder dogged the swarm of heartless as he continued to fight them off.

Great... Another child

Meanwhile...

Should I just leave him? YX thought as he was being dragged away to ‘safety’.

He’s hasn’t been to this world for awhile so he doesn’t remember much about where he’s being taken despite how familiar.

“Huh! Finally, we’re safe!” The boy release his grip. Little do they know the real danger was right in-

“Hey why did you just stand there!” The blond urged, obviously pointing at him.

“Heyner-“ the girl started.

“Lucky for you, i was fast and smart enough to get us all out off there!” He proudly praised himself.

Oh boy, he hasn’t dealt with these type of people since... since? Since what.

A look of confusion was displayed. Grabbing the attention of the concerned teenagers.

“Hey are you alright?” Funny, it’s been awhile since someone had asked him that. 

“Oh no! It’s your friend isn’t it. He didn’t come with us!”

“Is that why you’re bummed out?”

“Don’t worry! Sora’s got it covered”

Sora? Friend? Were they talking about Saïx? Why would he worry about that jerk?

No, that wasn’t why he was this way? Sad? Confused? These teenagers were bringing up none sense.

He scanned where he was. A quiet hidden area between buildings.

“Not much of a talker huh? That’s fine. Oh and this is our secret hide out. We don’t usually let anybody come here but desperate times needs desperate measures.”

The blond explained. What was he doing here?

“Hey, where’s Pence-“  
“I’m here!” The short plump kid came back with a plastic bag in hand, panting.

“Really?! You had time to go and buy ice cream now?”

The girl giggled at her friend’s’ antics. YX didn’t get what was so funny.

“Oh come on Heyner! We’re all tired from all that running and hey I bought enough for everyone. You, me, Olette, Sora, Donald, Goofy and umm”

YX turned away, maybe it was time for him to leave. 

“Hey, you gotta name?” 

He remained silent. Avoiding their gaze.

Suddenly an ice cream was shoved in front of his face. “Here, you don’t haveta tell us your name but you have to wait here until Sora arrives.”

He had two options  
>take the ice cream  
>teleport out of here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven’t abandoned any of my other work.  
> It’ll just take awhile before the next update  
> My exams are like this Tuesday and I’m in big trouble!!!  
> Anyways, wish me luck with best of hopes i get a satisfying grade TvT


	3. Google translate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sora met a young silver head guy online who lived probably on the other side of the planet. (Ps. It’s not Riku. That guy’s his roommy)
> 
> I have a weird imagination and I can’t keep it to myself so peps reading this... I apologise first hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanna hear a joke that happened to me
> 
> I said ‘there was a chicken behind me!’  
> When it was supposed to be ‘kitchen’ not ‘chicken’
> 
> I was the joke 
> 
> This chapter is inspired and based on one of C-comedy eps.
> 
> Just, you know with KH characters

It was early in the afternoon when Riku had just finished up his load of work and slumped sluggishly along their living room apartment. Only to be greeted by a well occupied Sora on the computer. 

The older boy puffed when he was hardly noticed when he walk in. What a great roommate. Sora’s never been this distracted unless...

“Hey buddy, what’ca doing?” He snuck up behind him as he patted the brunette’s shoulder. Unfortunately, he hardly earned a reaction but at least he got his attention.

“Oh, Riku. Didn’t see ya walk in.” Of course you didn’t, you were too distracted you doofus. “I met this guy online. Gotta tell ya, he’s really interesting. He’s from somewhere called PheonixHigh- ‘don’t give me that look Ri, cause I looked it up and it’s a real place” 

Riku still kept his ‘I doubt this’ expression.

A friend? No, this is a bit too much for ‘just’ a friend. Online dating? He’ll just assume that for now. “So, you’ve been dating a stranger? And online”

Sora shrugged as Riku sat down on the couch near them. His tanned skin turned a shade red. Turning his chair he reassured him. “We’ll we’re not really strangers. His name is Xeha, short for Xehanort. We’ve known each other for awhile now and I think he likes me.”

A light pinkish red was more obvious crept up the freckles across his nose. 

Riku rose a brow in question to his best friends utter assumption. He let Sora continue, “But he speaks a language there called Enixs-“

“Wait so you communicate in different languages? “

Riku wasn’t buying this.

“Yeah every time i write him something i have to convert it using google translate”

Again Riku gave him an odd look. “Did he give you a photo? What does he look like?”

Sora sprang up in excitement to his best friend’s curiosity. “Yeah! He did. Pretty neat, right? But I only got a pic of his whole family. According to him, pictures aren’t that often taken.” 

This was definitely questionable. What was he? In a cult or something?

He got back to open the file where he save the pic and showed it to Riku. Who was a bit taken by how formal the photo was. Maybe it was a cult.

He couldn’t exactly make out which was this ‘Xeha’ person.

“The one with silver hair.”   
“Sora, most of them have silver hair.” 

Really Sora? Silver?

Then the boy pointed at the man fairly close to their age. 

Now Riku had a proper look at Sora’s current ‘interest’. 

Bangs of silver hair covered his forehead as it was brushed to a side. Dark skin and mysterious gold eyes. He seemed to be the youngest in that photo as the others were grown men and an elderly man.

The photo came off to him as ‘serious’ as none of them were smiling. Though he wasn’t one to judge Sora’s taste.

“He seems... interesting”  
“I know right?”  
“So what ‘have’ you two been talking about”

Seemingly coming from different backgrounds and... across the probate world, what could have they chat about?

“Oh you know like, our favourite food, music and other stuff like the dark and lots..”

“Other stuff?” Riku scrunched, how long could he let his friend be in this hopeless long distant relationship.

“Have you two ever ‘tried’ to meet up?”

A spark of a light bulb sprung his up. “Hey! That’s a great idea. We’ve known each other for so long, we should meet up.”

Sora pulled his chair close to the computer to type. “I’ll ask him”

~

Somewhere in a forest far across the world, a mansion solely built to hide an era. A very curious man sat in front of the computer he had to save up to buy.

‘Not like any of the other’s would bother’ luckily the line from there was strong enough. Knew it or not, a city was quite close.

‘Wonder if they’ll take down this forest’ then maybe his ‘family’ could finally live in a normal area in this so far off country.

He received a message from Sora. “Hmm?”

Despite being poorly translated from another language Xeha thought he could manage with the way of wording. At least he thought...

“[how baby](hey babe)”  
“[Yes?]”  
“[how are the cows](how’s your family)”  
“[Fair, they’re doing well for cattle]”

~*~

“Why is he suddenly talking about cattle?”  
“I don’t know, he doesn’t speak english”

Sora argued as his text conversation was interrupted.

“What are you going to ask him?”  
“I’m going to ask him if he’s okay with me visiting.”

A slight look of shock was displayed on his face. “You’re going to go that far?! Across the world?! For a guy?”

“You’re point? Well I’m gonna have to get his permission first”

~*~

Meanwhile, a fuss had began in seekers home. What was that about our small nort dating? Bickering in a language god knows probably only among them can understand.

‘At least some of us keep up with the timeline’ stated in his mind as the elderly in front of him started to lecture him.

“It is foolish of you to try and find a lover you cannot even see, foolish grandson.”

Even though he was named after the old coot, everyone in the house was in privilege to call him Master. As weird as it sounds.

“You called me foolish twice in a sentence.”

Then came that step up busy body member who’s the only one who thinks himself cool, Xigbar. 

“Oh come on old man, let the kid have his fun. It’s not like he has anybody else he gets to play with.”

“I’m right here!” Luxord screamed across the halls.

Y.X shrugged, “cards are out dated”

The old man scoffed, “What’s the point of finding a lover you’ve never even met.”

‘Bold of you to assume he’s my lover.’ Sometimes, you never get tired of the outrageous accusations your family gives you.

However, that didn’t stop their bickering there. Xigbar had to add the fuel to the flames.

“Alright then, say the guy his chatting with decides to visit? What’d you do?”

The old man snickered. Never. A. Good. Sign.

“Well we’ll marry them of course”

How. The. Frick. Did. You. Come. To. That. Conclusion?!

“Then we can finally increase the members of this cult. I’ve been getting tired of seeing the same faces.”

Xigbar had already been bursting out of laughter. YX sat there pale faced and rethinking his life.

‘Don’t I get a say in this?!’ Would it be too late for him to get a real job in the cities?

Ding! You’ve received one new message!

“[Darling Hey Babe, chances met us together I come to you?] (Hey bae, is there a chance we can meet in person?/Can I visit you?)”

Apparently, this wasn’t a private conversation between them anymore. 

The old man, Xigbar and YX stared at the message. Vexen suddenly found his way into the mix too, along with Demyx who was probably following him. “What in the name of science is the meaning of this?”

“Cool! Xeha’s got a boyfriend?!”

The scene was quick when suddenly Xigbar pushed everyone out of the way and started typing in their address. 

“Not for long! New hubby here we come.”

YX who was poorly thrown aside was recollecting what was exactly happening. “Would you people for once not interrupt me and my social life? You know, the only one this family even has”

Demyx slid forward to warp an arm consolingly around Xeha’s shoulders. “Buddy whaddoyoumean? I have a social life too~”

Many groans were passed across the room, merely attracting the whole family into this racket.

~*~

Blop!

Sora and Riku started at the screen, where a highlighted address was sent. Along with a message.

“Did he just?” Riku asked awkwardly, as Sora was grinning like a newborn cub.

“I think that’s a yes”

“[Here is my address, you can find me at the mansion hidden in the forest around these areas. Make sure to bring a machete with you to prepare for the wolves so they don’t eat you]”

He read that out loud, spouting another doubtful look from Riku. ‘Are you kidding me? Wolves?!’

“Well Riks, looks like it’s time to bring out your old sharp thingys.”

“Sora you cannot be serious?!”

“Riku, this is love. He trust me enough to give me his address and you know I would never-“

“I know Sora But isn’t this a little too forward?”

Last thing he wanted was this guy breaking his heart. 

“Wasn’t it you who told me to meet him? Look, I’ll tell him that he can trust me and we’re cool”

~*~

Ding!

“Everyone quiet! He replied!” Xeha urged as some of them were already getting the pitchers and pitchforks. This was starting a rage mod in the house.

“[Thank you deer, your trust in me is so grand. I shall give my proposal to this as promise foug us together forever]”

(Fam, google translate is savage. I’m just mixing up wrong nouns to make it more misunderstood)

The master was eyeing the screen to make sure he was reading this right... 

Damn. Straight! (Not really) His grandson was getting proposed?

“Oh no...”  
“Damnhell! Get the weeding dress!”

For now, the placed down their pitches and forks. Flabbergasting Xeha to get in a dress. While Demyx replied to the message.

~*~

For some reason, their message were more understandable. “Well, since your all in for this, might as well huh? Just stay safe.” Riku encouraged.

Blop!

“[i cannot fathom how much i wish to see you]”

“Hey, how bout you make up some cheesy pickup line?”

“Like?”

Sora started to brainstorm for a real cheeky line. “I got it!”

He read aloud as he began typing. 

“For you my love, I would do anything. I shall book a flight to you. If I have to scoundrel a forest and kill anything that gets in my way, then I shall-“

“Dude isn’t that too much?”

“You did say cheesy. - I cannot wait to finally get to meet you and your family.- and translate and send.”

Riku was in deep thought about Sora’s message. Sure it sounded sweet and meaningful... a bit stupid and funny. Maybe these two had that sense of humour in their relationship. It shouldn’t cause any trouble...

~*~  
Was   
Sure... the mansion in the forest couldn’t be any less of a mayhem. Vexen, couldn’t save a life to bake a cake. “Hey Vex, I don’t think you need Ferum to bake a cake” 

“Nonsense! Just look at the content of a cake”

“Aren’t you supposed to look at the ingredients?”

A loud groan was heard in the living room. Where it all actually began. 

“Ouch!”  
“Hold still.”  
“Sure, when you stop stabbing me with needles!”

Apparently, his mother’s old dress was a bit... too big for him. ‘Why am I even wearing this is beyond me.’ Too big or he just doesn’t have the boobs to fill in the middle.

‘Even if I argue-‘  
“Why am I even wearing this?- Owch!”

The old master looked comfortable in his ‘master chair’. “Of course, you have to seduce him into staying”.

A light construction was held outside. “Alright, steady the pillars people! They’re getting married by sundown-“

Ding! 

“[That is endearing my love, for you I shall fly to a forest and take you so i can kill by slaughtering your family]”

... What. The.-

“Did I read that right?”

Everyone stood static, as Xeha slowly approached the laptop and began typing a reply.

~*~

Blop!

“See, Let’s see what he said”

Both of them read the replied message.

“[Please, whatever you mean, don’t hurt]”

They looked at each other confused. “Why does he think I’ll hurt him.”

Riku tried to think logically. “Maybe he thinks your joking about the visit and now he feels played?”

Within realisation, Sora quickly typed in a reply to solve the misinterpretation.

“Oh, than I better fix that. Hmm, ‘Don’t worry, all I say is real and I won’t hurt you’ and send”

~*~

“It’s your fault, you bafoon! You gave that maniac our address.”

The whole mansion was in panic! Demyx and Xemnas were already packing everyone’s things and run. 

“We’re gonna have to make a run before he gets here!”

Xeha was going to have enough of this! “Everyone! Let’s see, what he’s to say”

Ding!

“[No worry, all is real and I cannot wait to murder your family]”

He was about to cry... Reality was so heart wrenching. Xigbar and the Old man haven’t stopped panicking. The others were already pulling everyone to leave.

~*~

Sora and Riku waited for a reply. Yet, it hasn’t come. “That’s odd. He hasn’t replied.” Riku nudged him to send another one. “Okay, ‘I cannot wait to meet you, you can say the butterflies in my stomach have been fluttering ever since we started. I can’t wait to evolve in our relationship’”

~*~

Welp... the mansion looks almost empty. Guess this should be a good opportunity to live in the-

Ding!

‘Another one’ the others were still trying to pull him out, but he couldn’t just leave Sora hanging when they’ve known each other(online) for so long.

Then everyone read his recent message. 

“[I cannot wait to see you and tear you family’s stomachs and make butterfly stew ever since we meet]”

With that being the final straw Ansem grabbed the laptop and smashed it on the ground. Everyone ran out of the mansion.

~*~

Leaving, two very confused young adults to fathom what had just happened. 

“What the- the line disconnected”  
“Sora, could there be a possibility that this is just a troll account?”

He stared a moment to think about it.

“You know, I never considered”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading 
> 
> I’m sorry if it wasn’t funny, I’m not that good with comedy but I’ll try better next time.
> 
> My exams are over and hopefully you’ll be seeing more of my updates.
> 
> I’m working on the Atlantic chapters so see you them! 
> 
> Lots of love! Bye guys!


End file.
